Top 5 Concerns of a New Mom

1. Is my baby getting enough breastmilk?

This is possibly one of the most often asked questions to our medical team. Most mothers are concerned whether they are producing enough breast milk, or whether their child is drinking enough milk. Pressure from family and friends add to the worries of a mother, who starts feeling that if her child doesn’t feed as often as the neighbour’s child, something’s not quite right. Relax. Psychological stress can affect breastfeeding, so pay no heed to what those around you are saying. As long as your child is gaining adequate weight, you have no cause for concern. 
2. My baby usually vomits after I breastfeed her. Why is this? Should I be worried?

Often babies vomit after breastfeeding, due to overfeeding, gas or colic. If the child is gaining weight adequately, even though she vomits once in a while, there should be no cause for concern. But if your baby is irritable when being breastfed, if she seems to be in pain, and if she is not gaining weight, it could indicate a reflux problem, and you should contact your child’s doctor. 
3. Should my baby sleep on her back or on her tummy?

Your baby should definitely be put to sleep on her back or on her side. Numerous studies have shown that children who sleep on their tummies are at a greater risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). SIDS occurs when an infant dies in his sleep for no apparent reason. Get your child a firm mattress that covers the entire floor of the crib, and which doesn’t shift around, to minimize the chance of your child suffocating. 
4. Why does my baby cry so much? She seems to be crying all the time! Does she have colic?

Realise that crying is one of the only ways your baby can express her feeling or her wants. If she is hungry, tired or sleepy, she will let you know this by crying. If she refuses to stop crying, try this: 

• Lie down in a warm bath, and hold her in your arms. The warm water should relax her.
• Take her for a drive. Babies find the rhythmic movement of the car soothing. In addition, the change of being outdoors should distract her from crying. 
• Sometimes, no matter how hard a parent tries to comfort their baby, she will just not stop crying. This worries parents, and leads them to suspect that their child may be suffering from colic. Colic is a stomachache, or more specifically, an intestinal pain, due to which a child cries non-stop. The pain generally begins in the evening, and carries on for a couple of hours. Colic begins when a child is around 2 weeks old, and could carry only until the child is around 3 months. At times, if you are not breastfeeding your child at this age and she develops colic, she may be allergic to a particular formula. She could also be suffering from some other condition like reflux. If your child cries inconsolably almost everyday, it makes sense to show her to her pediatrician. 

5. When will my baby sleep through the night?

The older your baby grows, the less often he will wake up at night. The initial months, however, are difficult, as babies seem to wake up constantly at night. Though babies sleep around 18 hours a day, most of this sleep is in short spans. Babies keep waking up every few hours, and need to be patted back to sleep. New mothers often don’t get a full night’s sleep, so it is best for them to adjust their timing according to the baby’s timings. Sleep when the baby’s sleeping, and wake up when the baby wakes up.  

Don’t tell your kids what to do – Show them.

A Thought from one of my friend.

The thought for the day has been the old adage of leading by example. If you want kids who are respectful of their elders then show them by being respectful to your elders. If you want kids that are helpful, participate in community service projects or have family chores that are done all together (it is always amazing to me to see how helpful kids will be if they are working alongside a grownup who is doing the same chore). If you want kids that love to laugh, then have a good laugh everyday. It is really just that simple.

Today I received a huge compliment that has encouraged me to live these lessons I want to impart on my kids. There are a couple of kids in my youngest sons class who have a reputation for being a little wild and I have been concerned about my kid hanging out with them because I don’t want him to get in trouble just because he may be in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, he asked if these kids could come to our house and play and I said that would be great. When these boys arrived at our house they were very polite and talked with me and said thanks for inviting them over. I watched them play and they were all nice to each other and if I asked them to do something or explained some of the house rules they all complied without hesitation.

So, here comes the compliment part. I saw one of these boys grandmothers tonight. I told her how polite her grandson had been at our house. She said that the last time he came home from our house he told his mother that he really liked playing here because I talked to him like a human being. When his mom asked him what he meant he said “Well she just talks to me like I’m a person and she doesn’t yell at me like I get when I go to other kids homes”.

This meant alot to me. I once heard a story Rita told about his grandaughter. She was two years old and the family kept complaining that she was wild and going through the “terrible twos”. So, everytime he saw her he would call her Sunshine and remind her about all the good things she was doing. Whenever she was around Zig she was always a beautiful well behaved two year old.

It’s not always as simple as calling a child by a positive knickname but it certainly helps. In the bible it tells us to treat others as you would want to be treated and that includes our kids.

Show them by example how to interact with each other. And when there is behavior that you want to change try to work it out calmly. If this is challenging then be sure to read my last entry “picking your battles”.

Hang in there and enjoy every minute. It really does fly by.

22 Herbal Tips for Skin Care

1) Drink at least 8 glasses of water every day.

2) Cut some beet root into small pieces and grind them. Squeeze juice from beet root and massage to your face for 5 minutes. Shower after 10 minutes with mild soap or gram flour.

3) Mix sandalwood powder with rose water and add 4 to 5 drops of milk in it and apply on to your face and body. Shower after 15 minutes with warm water.

4) Mix honey in water and drink daily in the morning to keep your skin shiny and smooth.

5) Warm honey and mix with lemon juice and apply on to face. Wash after it dry.

6) Mix Turmeric, sandal powder and olive oil and apply to body. Shower after 10 minutes.

7) Massage your skin with milk. Milk has moisturizer, it will keep your skin smooth.

Use humidifiers and keep room temperature moderate to keep your skin away from dryness.

9) Hot water blushes your skin and you don’t feel fresh unless you have bath with little cold water. If you have shower for a longtime, dead skin will be automatically be removed. Do not rub with towel, be gentle on your skin.

10) Take food which contains more A and C vitamin.

11) Grate carrot and boil. Massage that mixture to body to get fair and smooth skin.

12) For natural bleaching: – mix milk and lemon juice. The milk will break as soon as you mix the lemon juice in it. Use that mixture to massage on your body. It works as natural bleaching.

13) Mix turmeric and cream on the top of milk, massage that mixture to body.

14) If you go into sun your skin will lost the fair ness. To get your skin color to normal take equal quantities of cucumber juice and tomato juice and apply on to skin. Shower after 10 minutes.

15) Massage mustard oil to your skin for 5 minutes and have shower with gram flour or mild soap.

16) Mix cream on the top of milk and all-purpose flour and apply that paste on to your skin avoid eyes, eyebrows and lips. Shower after 5 minutes. This will make skin smooth.

17) Mix curds (yogurt) with wheat flour and apply to your skin and take shower after 5 minutes.

18) Grind rose petals and mix with cream on the top of milk and apply to your body. Shower after 10 minutes.

19) Scaly skin is a result of fluorine deficiency. Fluorine is the anti-resistant element of the human body, the absence of which creates problems in the blood and spleen. Since cooking and heating foods destroys fluorine, it is better to eat uncooked raw fruits and vegetables. Other foods rich in fluorine are goat milk and cheese, rye flour, avocados, sea plants and cabbage, cream whey and cottage cheese.

20) Wrinkle skin is a result of Sodium deficiency and makes skin sticky. Cucumbers are ideal for combating and preventing sodium deficiency because they are not only high in sodium, but also help in keeping the body cool, a great summer’s treat.

21) Skin rashes are the result of silicon deficiency. To avoid pus and rashes, eat plenty of sprouts, alfalfa, barley, tomatoes, spinach, strawberries and figs.

22) Skin eruptions are the result of Chlorophyll. And are found in wheat grass and other green leafy vegetables

Ten Things Your Prenatal Instructor Won’t Tell You

Ten Things Your Prenatal Instructor Won’t Tell You By Ann Douglas Author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books
		Wondering what your prenatal instructor hasn’t told you about labor and delivery? Here are ten things that your prenatal instructor likely won’t mention, but that you definitely need to know: 1. If you wait for every possible labor symptom to kick in before heading off to labor and delivery, you’ll end up giving birth on your bathroom floor. While you may be afraid of embarrassing yourself by showing up at the hospital in false labor, you’ll look even more foolish if you end up giving birth on the side of the highway in the middle of rush hour. 2. There’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all labor. You could end up with one of those long, drawn-out labors that everyone that in your life seems to delight in telling you about—or could find your with one of those speedy deliveries that’s bound to make you the envy of your prenatal class buddies. 3. Your birth plan isn’t necessarily a blueprint for the actual delivery. Just as men seem to think it’s a personal failing to look at a roadmap while they’re driving, some babies seem determined to ignore the birth plans that their mommies have so carefully drafted. Bottom line? Your birth plan is a wish list, not a legal document. 4. Pregnancy books are big on euphemisms. This point was hammered home for me by one of the moms I interviewed for a forthcoming pregnancy book: “You know how the pregnancy books all describe the ‘slight burning sensation’ that you’re supposed to experience when the baby’s head begins to crown?” she told me. “Well, it’s like f*&#-ing blowtorch!” 5. You may not feel like bonding with your partner while you’re in labor. Rather than being tempted to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, as those women in the birthing films all seem to do, you may want to kick his sorry butt out of the birthing room altogether. After all, he’s the one who got you in this predicament in the first place! 6. You may not fall head-over-heels in love with your new baby right away. The fact that you’d rather take a nap than spend a lot of time oohing and ahhing over the new arrival does not automatically mean you’ve blown your nomination for Mother of the Year. 7. The blood clots you pass during the first few hours after the delivery could be the size of small lemons. For some reason, prenatal instructors aren’t big on nitty-gritty facts. They like to compare the bleeding that you’ll experience after the delivery to “a heavy menstrual period”—proof positive that members of this profession need to be regulated by some sort of “truth in advertising” code. 8. You may experience some nipple tenderness during the first few days of breastfeeding—even if you’re doing everything right. As any experienced nursing mother can tell you, it takes a little time to break your equipment in. (Aren’t you glad that Mother Nature had the foresight to equip you with a spare?) 9. You’ll be slimmer after the delivery, but you won’t be skinny. As a rule of thumb, you can expect to look about five months pregnant after you deliver—a whole lot slimmer than what you’ve looked in the recent past, but not quite slim enough to be mistaken for a supermodel the first time you hit the grocery store. 10. The real “labor” begins after you give birth. For some reasons, prenatal instructors tend to breeze over those middle-of-the-night feedings and marathon crying sessions. (I’m talking about the baby, by the way: not you!) While those first few weeks of parenthood can be an emotional roller coaster ride for even the most caring and committed parent, they do get better over time. You just have to make it through “boot camp”—the first few weeks postpartum.

Just Two Cups of Coffee a Day Can Double Miscarriage Risk, Says Study

Just Two Cups of Coffee a Day Can Double Miscarriage Risk, Says Study

It’s not news that downing a ton of caffeine-filled beverages while you’re expecting isn’t a good idea. But doctors have long been divided about what’s safe and what’s not when it comes to caffeinated pick-me-ups during pregnancy, a time when many women also happen to be at their sleepiest. Now, though, one new study suggests that limiting or nixing caffeine for expectant moms is a must — that as few as two cups of coffee a day can actually double a woman’s risk of miscarriage.

Many doctors tell their pregnant patients that one or two 6- to 8-ounce (oz.) cups of coffee, tea, or soda with caffeine a day won’t harm the baby. But some previous studies have shown that caffeine consumption of anywhere from 150 to 300 milligrams (mg) a day (about 1½–3 cups of coffee) can put a pregnancy at higher risk of miscarriage or a low birth-weight baby.

This latest study, involving interviews with more than 1,000 pregnant women, goes even farther to say that 200 mg or more of caffeine (that’s about 2 cups of regular coffee or five 12-ounce cans of caffeinated soda) per day makes it twice as likely that a pregnant woman will miscarry. A quarter of the women who had 200 mg or more each day had a miscarriage, versus the 12.5% of women who miscarried and said they hadn’t had any caffeine during pregnancy at all.

That’s why this group of researchers says women should cut out caffeine or have no more than one cup of java, especially during the first few months of pregnancy, when most miscarriages happen.

More on Miscarriages

Sadly, 1 in 5 pregnancies, on average, will end in a miscarriage (when a pregnancy spontaneously ends before an embryo or fetus has developed enough to survive outside of the womb).

Miscarriages often happen even before a woman knows she’s pregnant — usually in early pregnancy, before 20 weeks’ gestation. In most cases, a miscarriage simply can’t be prevented because it’s the result of:

• a genetic or chromosomal change that occurs during conception or early fetal development
• imbalances of hormones
• abnormalities of — or problems with — the uterus, cervix, or placenta

However, certain factors (like excessive caffeine consumption) can put a woman at a higher risk for losing a pregnancy, including:

• a woman’s age (the odds go up as women approach 40)
• infections (like syphilis, toxoplasmosis, German measles, rubella, influenza, and listeriosis)
• chronic and/or untreated illnesses (like diabetes; lupus; high blood pressure; or kidney, heart, or thyroid disease)
• exposure to environmental and workplace hazards (like radiation or toxic agents)
• certain medications (mostly prescription, such as the acne drug Accutane)
• use of alcohol or illegal drugs
• smoking, which sends nicotine and other chemicals into the bloodstream, causing the blood vessels in the placenta to spasm, which decreases the blood flow to the uterus. Smokers also have a lower level of oxygen in their blood, which means the fetus gets less oxygen.

What This Means to You

Miscarriages often can’t be prevented. But you can take a few practical precautions to up your chances of having a healthy pregnancy:

• Avoid drugs and alcohol.
• Eat well, making sure to get plenty of folic acid and calcium.
• Exercise once you get your doctor’s OK.
• Skip deli meats, soft cheeses (like feta), and hot dogs that could carry listeriosis.
• Don’t change the litter box. Cats can carry a harmful parasitic infection called toxoplasmosis.
• Stop smoking — or don’t start.
• Tell your doctor about all medications you’re taking. Unless your doctor says otherwise, many medicines — both prescription and over-the-counter — should be avoided during pregnancy.
• Avoid abdominal trauma.
• Know your family’s medical and genetic history.
• Talk to your doctor about which immunizations you should and shouldn’t get during pregnancy.

If you’re pregnant and worried about your caffeine consumption, talk to your doctor or midwife. But until the experts can all agree on exactly how much caffeine is OK and how much isn’t, it’s probably a good idea to limit or skip caffeine for the remainder of your pregnancy.

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: January 2008

Source: American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, January 2008.

Pregnancy

Our guide to your pregnancy tells you how your baby is developing each month. It also tells you a bit about how your body may be changing and how you might be feeling. Remember that not all babies develop exactly like each other, so this can only be a general guide. You should ask your doctor or midwife for any specific information about your pregnancy. We all know that babies come in two flavours. However – as most of you won’t know what flavour you’re getting – for clarity, we will refer to your baby as “she”.

For the rest post click here

Breast Feeding

Breastfeeding is, of course, Nature’s way of providing the absolute best for your baby, so it is advisable to try to feed your baby this way. Not only does breast milk provide essential and perfectly balanced nutrition, and give baby natural antibodies to protect her from infection and illness, but it also helps you to bond with your baby in a very intimate way.Breast milk provides a form of natural protection against many illnesses including ear infections, diarrhoea, gastro-enteritis and tummy upsets, chest infections and wheezing. Your baby will be at less risk of diabetes, eczema and asthma; she will have superior mental development and her teeth will grow in straighter. So for baby there are a lot of advantages. There are benefits for mum too! Less smelly nappies (diapers) are a plus, but it doesn’t stop there. Breastfeeding lowers the risk of ovarian cancer and pre-menopausal breast cancer, your stomach will return to its pre-pregnancy size quicker, and you will also benefit from stronger bones in later life.

If you decide to breastfeed, you should try to feed quite soon after birth so that the instinct to suck remains strong, and this will also help get breastfeeding off to a good start. It may be a very short feed as your baby will be exhausted and not terribly hungry at first – after all she’s been getting all the nutrition she needs via the umbilical cord up until now – but soon enough she will want a more substantial feed.

If you can feed your baby successfully it is advisable to do so for at least 4 months to get the full benefit of the antibodies, however any amount of breast is better than none and you should not feel guilty should you decide or need to give up sooner. It is a personal choice so try not to succumb to pressure from others around you and just be confident in your choice. Do try and introduce one bottle of expressed breast milk a day, as soon as baby is totally proficient at breastfeeding – usually within the first week. This is not only to give you the freedom to go out once in a while, but it is also a chance for your partner or other children to help feed the baby and can be a chance for you to catch up on your sleep. If you wait too long your baby will refuse the bottle and it will be very hard to get her to take one. My own daughter was 2 months premature and I know a lot about the difficulties that can arise when trying to get baby latched on properly and feeding successfully. Premature babies tend to have a lot of problems feeding because they are born too early to have the sucking reflex, and therefore have to learn it. I also know a lot about expressing breast milk and can advise you.

My Only Child

There can be only one.

By Victoria Clayton Munn

I am the mother of one perfect daughter. She’s pretty, sweet, intelligent and a handful. My little girl just had her first birthday, and I can’t imagine a happier occasion — celebrating a year of being the mother to the most incredible being this world has known. Unfortunately, my joy in being a mom is inevitably interrupted each time I am discussing children with someone. As I am describing how great I feel about being my daughter’s mommy, inevitably I am asked, “So, when are you going to have another?”

Arrgh. How to explain my thoughts on this subject? The short answer is, “Never.” That’s right, I’m not planning to have more children. My husband and I actually WANT to have an only child. We have never planned to have a second child, and we stick by that plan. Other people, however, don’t seem to understand that this can be possible. The minute we tell people that we aren’t going to have more kids, the advice starts pouring in.

She’ll be lonely. She’ll be greedy (I guess only children don’t learn how to share?). Don’t you want to see what it’s like to have a boy? Isn’t it selfish of you to not have another child for her to grow up with? I have heard all of these arguments, and many more like them. So, here’s an open explanation to those who would ask, “Why not have another child?”

The first reason is perhaps the most important. We want to be able to give our children everything. As my husband and I were not blessed with rich relatives throwing cash at us or a well-chosen lottery jackpot, we need to watch where money goes. Having just one child will allow us to lavish upon her all the things she needs and some of the frivolous things she wants. Our daughter will get all we can afford, and we’ll be able to save for her future as well. With a second child (or more) we would be stretched thinner (money-wise) and we wouldn’t be able to give each of them what we wanted to.

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The second reason is medical. I have a genetic condition that can be passed on. It’s not deadly, but it is inconvenient. I feel like we gambled and won (there’s a 50% chance of inheritance) with our daughter, so I don’t want to risk it again. It’s the same with my brush with preeclampsia – I survived and so did my baby (five weeks early), but I wouldn’t want to risk it again. (I do know my risk for having preeclampsia a second time is higher than the 5-8% of pregnancies usually affected.) Neither of these problems are certain to happen with a second pregnancy, and for that reason some would choose to try and have more children. I don’t feel it’s worth the risk for my family.

I also have done research into the differences between only children and those who have siblings. There is no proof that only kids are less adjusted, less social or less happy. Child psychologists debunked those myths years ago. Most only children are pleased with their situation and would not change it so that they could have brothers or sisters (at least that’s the story from the only children I’ve talked to!).

I do admit I’ve wondered what it would be like to have a little boy in the house. Shopping for non-pink clothing and baseball mitts would be fun. Fortunately, that’s what nephews and other small male relatives are for – you can shower them with the toys your little girl doesn’t have an interest in, and buy them all the blue onesies you want.

These reasons aren’t a rationalization for myself so I feel alright about having just one baby. I truly hope people will read this and understand that having “just one” is a choice. We’re sticking to having just one child and we’re satisfied that we’re going to stay a family of three. So, yes, it’s our choice and yes, we’re happy with it.

Ten Keys to Successful Parenting

Ten Keys to Successful Parenting

It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 – Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)

Your child’s self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child’s attempts to communicate with us. If we don’t give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child’s mind is better than being ignored.

It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, “Mommy, you never spend time with me” (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, “Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together.”

2 – Use Action, Not Words

Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become “parent deaf!” Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, “What action could I take?” For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.

3 – Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful

If you don’t, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.

4 – Use Natural Consequences

Ask yourself what would happen if I didn’t interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don’t need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don’t bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.

5 – Use Logical Consequences

Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.

6 – Withdraw from Conflict

If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to “Try again.” Do not leave in anger or defeat.

7 – Seperate the Deed from the Doer

Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn’t that you don’t like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child’s self-esteem?

8 – Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn’t dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

9 – Parent with the End in Mind

Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.

10 – Be Consistent, Follow Through

If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

This document is produced by the International Network for Children and Families and the 350 instructors of the “Redirecting Children’s Behavior” course.

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