Parenting Tips for Helping Baby Sleep Through the Night

If there is one thing that all new parents have in common, it is sleep deprivation. Some babies get up every two hours, some every four, and for those really lucky parents, some babies stay up all night long. Whatever the case is, parents don’t get much sleep when a baby comes into the household. But when baby starts reaching about three months of age, they should settle down and start to sleep through the night. There are a few things that parents can do to help speed this process along.The first is to start a sleep routine. This should start about half an hour before baby’s bedtime and end with them in their crib or bassinet, about to drift off to sleep but not actually sleeping. There are generally four “B’s” involved in a baby’s sleep routine. These are: bath, bottle, book, and bed.

Start by giving baby a nice relaxing bath, perhaps with one of the many calming lavender baby soaps that are on the market today. Once they are all snuggly, give them a bottle. This can help soothe any crankiness that resulted from the bath and it will also give them a full tummy. Then sit quietly together and read a short book. Even at this young age, babies love being read to and the sound of your voice will reassure and relax them. Then place them down in bed while they are starting to fall asleep. Placing them in bed before they fall asleep will allow them to learn how to fall asleep on their own so should they wake during the night, they have a better chance of falling back asleep on their own.

Make sure the room they are laid down in is dark and quiet. This will tell baby that it’s time to sleep. A little bit of noise is okay. If the house is kept completely silent because baby’s sleeping, it will not only be a huge inconvenience for the parents but it will also make him become an extremely light sleeper well into his adult years.

Teaching your Child Social Skills

Teaching your Child Social Skills

There are many benefits to having excellent social skills, and it is advisable for you to teach your child social skills. Children learn best from a young age, and long term success in their lives depends more on social skills than their academic strength.

If you find that your child is often ostracized by his peers and unable to interact normally in social situations, you need to step in to teach them how to interact easily with others. This can be done through daily interactions with your child, as they learn by example, imitating how you react to situations. One of the best methods to teach your child is the Social Autopsy method.

This involves sitting down with your child and analyzing what went wrong, and what can be done about it. The key to this method is in helping the child identify the link between their behavior and the end result, and how changing their behavior or actions can lead to a more favourable or preferred outcome for them. Guide your child into being able to independently identify the problem and possible solutions, and how to spot and prevent such problems from occurring again.

Another problem parents commonly face is their inability to discipline the child. This will lead to a child that is uncontrollable, and such behavior will usually result in rejection from their peers. This also makes it difficult for the parent to implement the social autopsy method, as they have little or no control over their child, and are unable to guide them in the right direction.

Often out of frustration, parents may simply avoid the problem or administer punishments that are overly severe. In such cases, you as the parent need to lay down the ground rules in dealing with your child. This will help both of you understand how to interact with each other, especially with regards to disciplinary issues.

Sit down with your child to work out the ground rules, and explain why they are important. These should be clear and well defined, so that there is no ambiguity or confusion. The next step is in working out a rewards and punishment system. Spell out that good behavior warrants rewards, as does misbehavior. There should always be a clear link between the infraction and the punishment. This will teach them that for every action, there is an equal and corresponding reaction.

The next time a disagreement or fight breaks out, such as when there is a need to share or speak uninterrupted, step in to help your child develop the appropriate social skills. This will often involve instilling a sense of self control for your children, and they learn best by watching you, so make sure that you set a good example!

Raising Children Fairly and Equally

Most parents don’t like to admit it, but parents typically have a preferred child among all of their children. As a result, parents often do not raise their children equally. While this favoritism is obviously not fair, some parents over compensate by trying to raise their children equally in order to be always fair. Unfortunately, this opposite of favoritism is equally not fair.

Here is a common example. Let’s assume a couple has two children. One of their children is very good in school, and the other child is not. It is common for parents to send both of their children to equivalent colleges, while ignoring the fact that one child deserves better while the other children might not want or deserve to go to college.

Another example is with sports. One child may be exceptionally good in sports, while their siblings are not. However, their parents typically push all of their children in after school sport activities if a single child shows interest. If a child is talented in playing music, the child’s siblings are often sent to music classes as well.

As a result, parents try to achieve the same interests and results with all of their children, even though some siblings are often incorrectly pushed in activities that they are not interested in. Unfortunately, this seldom works.

It is never easy to raise children, but parents must be dynamic enough to raise each child differently. While some parents are luckily enough to have similar children, most siblings have diverse strengths and interests that must be nurtured and developed independently from their siblings.

Children gone wild or failed parenting

Who’s to blame when a child goes bad?

A famous quote states: ‘It takes a whole village to raise a child.’ The villages today are in the form of music videos, TV, and the ever expanding internet; none of which should have a significant impact on a child’s behavior, but due to the lack of attention and absentee parenting in the home, it is the major source of role-modeling most of our kids are emulating.

Another quote states: ‘Children are to be seen and not heard;’ or even ‘Do as I say and not as I do;’ whoever wrote these obviously never had children. Children are like sponges, they will soak up everything put before them and no one can ask more questions than a child can. Children also have a lot to say; that’s why most of their time is spent in chat-rooms online. “Do you know who your children are speaking to? Do they?”

It is unfortunate that a child chooses that of a negative nature in which to adapt; but no thanks to the media, bad, looks good to the impressionable eye. Little do many parents know that there is no one a child would rather be like than the one who reared them; children idolize their parents and want nothing more than to please them; it is a crime that many don’t recognize this.

Everyone over the age of twenty-one is aware of the ever-increasing enconomy which makes it a challenge to make ends meet, but a child has no concept of money until parents start complaining about it or tossing it at their kids just to get them out of their hair. A child is not born with the natural instinct to lust for money or material possessions; those who hold the strongest influence over them instills this, as with everthing else in their lives.

We all know what a parent is, but we are not always clear on what their responsibilities are. Some would argue that a parent’s only duty is to supply a roof over a child’s head, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs–shame on the few that feel that even this is not a factor–but a parent is so much more. A parent is responsible for making sure a child is properly educated; they are the major source that instills good morals and strong fiber. They are to teach them right from wrong; discipline and determination; self esteem and respect; responsibility and hard work; selflessness versus selfishness; but most of all, they are to teach them love; how to give it as well as how to receive it; anything less makes one fall short of good parenting.

Sadly, it is easy for a parent to resent a child for stealing their life; for taking up so much of their time and changing who they are or once were; and often this resentment can cause a parent to lash-out at their child undeservingly. Mother’s compete against daughters; fathers berate sons; children are left alone far too long and too often with no supervision or guidance. They are emotionally abused by hurtful words and unfair actions done against them. Parents often forget that they too were once children; they forget the things they put their parents through and the heartfelt prayers not to do to their children what their parents did to them. Not many are aware that children suffer the sins of their parents; they enter the world with a strike against them due to no fault of their own.

When a child becomes rebellious, a parent is quick to point the finger at anyone or anything but themselves; they are quick to say that they get all their bad qualities from the other parent–especially if he or she is an absentee parent–and all the good qualities from them. If you are wondering how your child will turn out, just take a look in the mirror.

The village system no longer exists; but it is not needed if we practice good parenting.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .   Slow down for three minutes to read this.  It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
 

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 ‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

 

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‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

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 ‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

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‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

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‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

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‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8

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‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

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‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

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‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle – age 7

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‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

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‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

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‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

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‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

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‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

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‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

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‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen – age 7

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6

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‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

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And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

Amazing Facts About Your Baby

Being a parent is a learning experience. It’s about learning to take care of someone who is unable to care for themselves. Above all, being a parent teaches you about yourself. Here are a few things you may not have known about your new baby.

Tears contain stress hormones, so we cry to release stress. No other animal does this. Your baby can’t cry tears for at least three weeks, sometimes not until they are four or five months old.

Kissing has origins in primitive practices of weaning. Originally people would chew their baby’s food and then pass it from their mouth to their baby’s mouth. You can obsere primates doing this.

Nearly all mothers will carry their baby’s on their left side so that baby’s head is next to mother’s heart. Hearing a mother’s heartbeat soothes a baby.

We instinctively rock our babies at a heartbeat pace. Again this soothes them. When inside the womb, the mother’s heartbeat was the one constant noise a child heard. Hearing a mother’s heartbeat reminds them of the womb; a place of refuge and safety.

During her first six months of life your baby can distinguish more sounds then she will be able to in later life. This is so that she could adapt to any human language. As time passes she will become ‘tuned’ to her native language.

When a baby is full she will turn her head away. This is the origin of shaking one’s head to say no. Different human societies have different words to say ‘no’ but virtually all human societies turn their head from side to side to express ‘no’.

Sticking out you tongue is considered rude and childish in most countries because this is the way that babies reject food.

A newborn baby can only concentrate on one thing at a time. When a baby first begins breastfeeding she will have her eyes closed but as she learns to do more one thing a time she’ll begin to open her eyes and smile at you.

Babies become self-aware sooner than you might think. Very young babies love looking at themselves in mirrors but they may not realize who they are looking at for quite some time. If you put some lipstick on your baby’s nose and then show her her reflection, it is not until about 15 months that she will touch her own nose when she sees it.

Babies don’t have kneecaps when they are born. They only develop during the latter half of the first year.

The more stimulating experiences you can give your baby, the more circuitry is built for enhanced learning in the future. So get stimulating!

Children born in the month of May are on the average 200 grams heavier at birth than children born in any other month.

Are You Ready for Children?

Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests…

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fishfinger behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego. (If Lego are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Weetabix or Cheerio’s) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more new ones and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN)

Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the assistant to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your wages to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasise to them that they should never allow their children to run riot.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Hope You all dont mind it, it was just to make u feel laugh n make u feel comfortable.

How to Be a Good Father

You already know that it takes a lot to be a good parent, but there are many ways in which you can be a good father in particular.

Steps

1. Have fun. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it is also a lot of fun. Show your kids that you enjoy being their father.
2. Consider your role as a father. What do you believe should be a father’s role in raising children? How did you grow up perceiving fatherhood? The notions you were brought up with will influence your approach to being a father. Some common perceptions of a father’s role are:
   • The father provides, financially and emotionally, for his children, and should care for them too.
   • The father’s role is to discipline along with the mother. Make parenting a partnership, be on the same page about how to discipline your child and be consistent.
   • A father should give his children affection and warmth – Don’t be afraid to tell your child “I love you, I’m proud of you.”
   • A father shows support and love through actions as well as words.
3. Build on tradition. Consider your roles and responsibilites as a father. Ask yourself which are most meaningful and pursue them to the best of your ability.
4. Respect your children’s mother. Mutual respect between a child’s parents is important whether or not the parents are married to one another. Children will mimic their parents’ behavior. How you treat your child’s mother will influence the way in which the child will view his or her own role when they become parents. Do not be afraid to stand up for your own views as a parent. They are equally as important and valuable as those of the child’s mother who may or may not spend more time with the child.
5. Spend time with and take responsibility for your children. Some fathers miss opportunities to spend time with their kids because they have competing responsibilities or interests that may or may not benefit them. However, once the opportunity has passed, it’s gone and you can’t get it back. It goes so fast, so make the time the best that it can be. If you don’t establish an intimacy with your children when they’re young, it’ll be difficult to catch up when they’re older and still need your help and support.
6. Be a teacher by both word and example. Children will not grow up and miraculously already know right from wrong. Children need to be taught right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated by their father. Make decisions in front of them and explain to them why you came to that resolution. Talk to them about choices you made in the past and why they did (or didn’t) work out. Evaluate all of your own decisions by thinking: “What would I want my child to do in this situation?” Teach your children that it is okay to make mistakes. Everyone makes them. You do and they will too. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.
7. Show affection. Some men may be uncomfortable with offering their children affection and communicating their love. Being affectionate with your child shows them that you love them. It also teaches them to show affection to others.
8. Realize that a father’s job is never done. Do not assume that once your children turn 21, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. While it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.

How to be a Good parent

Introduction

A big part of good parenting is establishing respect between parents and children. Your child needs to know what you expect of her, and you in turn must learn to listen and wait.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need

• Stress Management Counseling
• Stress Relief Products
• Notebooks
• Personal Organizers
• Writing Pens

Steps

Step One

Slow down. Babies and children live in a different time frame from adults’ – usually a much slower one. Keep this in mind as you talk to your child, care for her and go about your day together.

Step Two

Observe your child. You’ll be amazed at how well you’ll get to know your child by sitting back and watching. This focused awareness will help you better understand moods, abilities and temperament. Listening is important, too.

Step Three

Stay optimistic. Optimism is contagious; so is negativity. Show your child through your behavior how to overcome minor setbacks. Children emulate their parents’ attitudes and habits, so it will help if you have a positive outlook.

Step Four

Accept and acknowledge your child’s feelings and desires. Let her know it’s OK if she feels sad, scared or angry. You can say, ‘It looks like you’re sad because your friend went home’ or ‘It seems that you’re mad because I put the ball away.’

Step Five

Tell your child your expectations. Children won’t always comply right away, but they need to understand clearly what a parent expects: ‘I want you to put on your sweater. We’re going outside,’ or ‘I want your feet to stay off the couch.’

Step Six

Set appropriate limits. Even when you acknowledge a feeling or desire, you must make a child aware of appropriate behavior and rules: ‘I can see you’re mad at your friend because he took the toy from you, but I won’t let you hit him. Hitting is not something we do in our family. What else can you do?’

Step Seven

Wait. Let your child do as much as she can on her own – learn to walk, put on her socks, resolve conflicts with her friends. Anxiety or the desire to help often tempts parents to rush in and solve the problem for the child. A better response would be to wait and see what your child can manage on her own. She might surprise you.

Step Eight

Behave genuinely. Just as you accept your child’s moods, though not always his behavior, it’s OK to have a sad or angry thought yourself and express it appropriately: ‘I’m really tired right now but I’m listening to you.’ A parent’s genuineness prepares a child for life.

Step Nine

Nurture yourself and your marriage. Make arrangements to have some guilt-free time to take care of your own needs. Plan a date with your partner and forget the kids for a while. You’ll be a happier person and a better parent.

Tips & Warnings

• Build more time into your schedule so you can slow down with your child and enjoy your time together. Continuous hurried behavior creates stress for both you and your child.
• Start a baby-sitting cooperative with neighborhood parents so you can have a few hours to yourself or a date with your partner.
• Ask friends, Grandpa or a responsible teenage niece to baby-sit. Get out of the house and have some adult fun.
• Monitor your child if she’s having a dispute with a friend. Feelings can quickly escalate, and a parent may need to intervene. Safety should always be your No.1 consideration.