Teaching your Child Social Skills

Teaching your Child Social Skills

There are many benefits to having excellent social skills, and it is advisable for you to teach your child social skills. Children learn best from a young age, and long term success in their lives depends more on social skills than their academic strength.

If you find that your child is often ostracized by his peers and unable to interact normally in social situations, you need to step in to teach them how to interact easily with others. This can be done through daily interactions with your child, as they learn by example, imitating how you react to situations. One of the best methods to teach your child is the Social Autopsy method.

This involves sitting down with your child and analyzing what went wrong, and what can be done about it. The key to this method is in helping the child identify the link between their behavior and the end result, and how changing their behavior or actions can lead to a more favourable or preferred outcome for them. Guide your child into being able to independently identify the problem and possible solutions, and how to spot and prevent such problems from occurring again.

Another problem parents commonly face is their inability to discipline the child. This will lead to a child that is uncontrollable, and such behavior will usually result in rejection from their peers. This also makes it difficult for the parent to implement the social autopsy method, as they have little or no control over their child, and are unable to guide them in the right direction.

Often out of frustration, parents may simply avoid the problem or administer punishments that are overly severe. In such cases, you as the parent need to lay down the ground rules in dealing with your child. This will help both of you understand how to interact with each other, especially with regards to disciplinary issues.

Sit down with your child to work out the ground rules, and explain why they are important. These should be clear and well defined, so that there is no ambiguity or confusion. The next step is in working out a rewards and punishment system. Spell out that good behavior warrants rewards, as does misbehavior. There should always be a clear link between the infraction and the punishment. This will teach them that for every action, there is an equal and corresponding reaction.

The next time a disagreement or fight breaks out, such as when there is a need to share or speak uninterrupted, step in to help your child develop the appropriate social skills. This will often involve instilling a sense of self control for your children, and they learn best by watching you, so make sure that you set a good example!

Raising Children Fairly and Equally

Most parents don’t like to admit it, but parents typically have a preferred child among all of their children. As a result, parents often do not raise their children equally. While this favoritism is obviously not fair, some parents over compensate by trying to raise their children equally in order to be always fair. Unfortunately, this opposite of favoritism is equally not fair.

Here is a common example. Let’s assume a couple has two children. One of their children is very good in school, and the other child is not. It is common for parents to send both of their children to equivalent colleges, while ignoring the fact that one child deserves better while the other children might not want or deserve to go to college.

Another example is with sports. One child may be exceptionally good in sports, while their siblings are not. However, their parents typically push all of their children in after school sport activities if a single child shows interest. If a child is talented in playing music, the child’s siblings are often sent to music classes as well.

As a result, parents try to achieve the same interests and results with all of their children, even though some siblings are often incorrectly pushed in activities that they are not interested in. Unfortunately, this seldom works.

It is never easy to raise children, but parents must be dynamic enough to raise each child differently. While some parents are luckily enough to have similar children, most siblings have diverse strengths and interests that must be nurtured and developed independently from their siblings.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .   Slow down for three minutes to read this.  It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
 

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 ‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

 

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‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

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 ‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

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‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

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‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

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‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8

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‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

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‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

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‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle – age 7

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‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

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‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

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‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

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‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

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‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

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‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

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‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen – age 7

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6

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‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

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And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’